Family Rules
Family Rules Week 8: Chapter 7 October 6, 2011 Family Rules In speaking of the rules that pertain to the Grape’s family, one could say that rules are not the biggest issue to this family. The rules are far and few between. One unspoken rule in particular is that when dinner is ready, the girls carry the kitchen table into the living room to their mother. On one hand it’s good that they are having dinner as a family but on the other hand it’s a little absurd that they cater to her. The unspoken rule is that Gilbert is completely in charge of Arnie, from daylight until dark.
Gilbert hasn’t had the opportunity to live his childhood life due to this rule. Their mother, Bonnie, is not able to care for her children the way a mother should because of her depression and obesity. Therefore, the unspoken rule there is that everyone in the family takes care of themselves. No one in the family makes a big deal out of Arnie’s disability but rather makes him feel as though he is just like the rest of them. They never have anyone over to their house because of the shape their mother is in.
The children, not only are embarrassed and ashamed of her, but she doesn’t want anybody to see her that way either. The house they are living in desperately needs repairs but because of the reasons listed above, a handyman is out of the question. Gilbert sneaks his friend in to fix the floor beneath their mother because it is on the verge of falling through. Every family has their own set of rules, spoken or not, that have to be followed in order to have good organization. With good organization and communication in a family, this allows things to go smoothly in their daily lives.
Family Social Worker Jennifer Hedge Northeastern State University SOWK 4043 Week 8: Chapter 7 October 8, 2011 When arranging an interview with a family social worker, I found it very difficult to find someone that had time to speak with me. I came across a sweet lady, Carolyn Owens, who works for Haskell County DHS. She got her business and BSW degree from NSU and primarily works as a Social Services Specialist IV in her small office. When she started that job as a family social worker on August 16, 1971, she recalled that there were some older ladies in that office that were not nice to her.
That day forward she promised herself that she would not ever treat anybody the way those women treated her. Treat potential clients with empathy, passion, but set yourself some boundaries to never cross she said. She stated that you have to be an authoritative figure for clients so they get a sense of direction or a particular focus on where to go from there. Due to the worsening of the economy she said their program had lost 1,000 workers. The work load is still the same, but there are fewer workers to take care of the needs of the citizens.
She spoke about visiting families homes before the cut in funding, before she became a supervisor in 1988. She said make friends with the families first, then interact with the children. Be able to find out on your own what their needs might be. Some families were very open with her while others were not. The ones that didn’t want to participate, she never gave up on. Every time she visited the client’s homes she could see how the children were doing at least. Never give up, be persistent to a point where people know you are honestly capable of helping them, she stated.
Relate with them; let them know that all families have problems at one point or another. Take the time to listen so you can direct them in what steps to take next. She feels as though this job has been her calling from God. Do not focus on the negative things that happen; rather focus on the positive outcomes. Negativity is not a Godly thing, so forget the past and move on. She stated that when starting as a social worker to not get to gung-ho, just to step back, listen and learn. Beware of what you say, be encouraging but always tell them the truth.
She said to find good mentors, people that can help a new social worker get the right feel for people. People are not who they seem to be. They will tell you in time who they really are. Don’t get too involved before you figure it out. Doing something for someone is not always helping them in a good way, because they need to be accountable for themselves. She said that the program used to get really good training that taught her not only a lot about herself but how to deal with several different situations.
She expressed that if working with families is your passion then you will be capable of doing a great job. Don’t be afraid to go into the field of social work if it’s where your heart is, fear and faith don’t mix she stated. Making a decision with fear in your mind will not be the correct one. She said it will always be a challenge, but don’t be afraid of it. Lastly, she expressed the mission of DHS, which she uses daily. To help people live healthy, happier, safer, and more independent lives.
