Fiesta 1980,
Fiesta 1980 The story, Fiesta, 1980, is one that closely resembles my own childhood. The characters, their actions and experiences each hold similarities to my parents and sisters. For example, my mother was an alcoholic and abusive toward us kids just as Papi was toward his children. In the story, Papi says, “Don’t you mirror me” whereas my mom would say, “Don’t you give me that look”. One previous step dad was like Mami in that he would remain quiet until things got out of control. Only then did he speak up usually with little results before backing down again.
The character of Madia reminds me of my little sister who closed her eyes and cupped her ears whenever there was trouble. My little sister, like Madai “was too scared to open her eyes”. My twin reminds me of Rafa who seemed to be the “perfect” one who could do no wrong in my mom’s eyes. For myself, I relate most to Yunior as we both seem to be the ones always getting into trouble and were punished the most. However, when the problems became too bad, Yunior had Tia to lean on for support. For myself, I have two aunts who were always there when I needed them and never pushed for more than I could give.
In addition to similarities between the characters and my own family members, specific events in the story reminded me of my own experiences. For instance, the long car rides taken by Papi and Yunior reminded me of those we took when trying to get my little sister to sleep. As in the story, between Papi and Yunior, not much was said during our car rides either. Likewise, Papi’s affair with the Puerto Rican lady is also familiar. My mom and current step dad had an affair before divorcing and finally marrying each other. My mom’s ex husband and current husband were good friends, as was my mom and his wife.
After sneaking around for two years they finally divorced their spouses and openly began seeing each other. Like Rafa and Yunior, all the kids knew about the affair but never talked about it or told anyone. Many people, children and adults, were hurt by the actions of two people who thought only of themselves. I don’t understand the urge to hurt someone physically, mentally, or emotionally despite frequent occurrences and can only hope that I never put someone in a position that would cause such grief and pain. In the text, Why do people abuse? the authors state that “some abusers learned to abuse from their parents” and that “abusive behavior can also result from mental or health disorders”, which is derived from many different problems, including alcoholism. I for one understand abuse because “abuse situations must be lived in and experienced before the internal logic makes any sense”. In the article, Abuser & Victim…Alike, the author argues that both the abuser and the victim share responsibility for their situations. This is only true if we choose to believe that such people voluntarily stay and allow the abuse to continue.
In this sense, some truth might exist, however, we must remember the lack of control felt by each victim, as well as the emotional torment they experience that serves to trap them in their current situations. Alternatively, it would be difficult for the author to validate such a claim of shared responsibility if the abused were a child, disabled or mentally handicapped person. To a certain degree, the author himself contradicts his previous statement when he comments that “abusers have all the power”.
Not all victims can stand up to their abusers. Past experiences or fear of escalating violence are powerful reasons for towing the line. Abused children, those who are most vulnerable, are the least able to defend themselves. Many come to believe that they deserve it and that this is love. They “jump over hoops for their loved ones” without ever realizing that “it does not make the parent love them more”. Sadly, these children often grow to become the abusers because it is what they know to be right.
There are many forms of abuse and a variety of underlying causes. Unfortunately, many people fail to recognize the emotional and physical damage it causes toward those being abused until it is too late. Similarly, abusers themselves often fail to recognize the hurtful and long lasting harm their actions create for those they claim to love the most. Why are people abusive? What makes them abusive? What does the abuser get out of abusing? My personal opinion is that many people who survive abuse become abusers because it’s all they know.
However, a few strive hard to achieve the opposite of their experiences because they know how it feels and that it is wrong. “Do not unto others what you wouldn’t want done to you. ” Works Cited The Bedford Introduction to LITERATURE READING * THINKING * WRITING Ninth Edition Michael Meyer Boston * New York Page 171- 181 Why do people abuse? http://www. mentalhelp. net/poc/view_doc. php? type=doc&id=8482 Copyright- CenterSite, LLC, 1995-2011 Abuser & Victim…Alike? http://www. drirene. com/abuservs. htm Website Design, Content, & Trubble 1998-2006 Dr. Irene and the The Medical Communications Resource
