Research Paper Coun
By exploring the foundations of marriage/couple and family therapy we can reveal various ways to better counsel not only intellectually but virtually as well. Always keeping God as the foundation and author of our therapeutic sessions will assist in helping God’s people in His way. Introduction Family therapy began in the sass’s. It evolved out of the need from problems within individual therapy. Other therapists such as Sigmund Freud saw how families contributed to the individual and could add to information and relationships concerning the individual.
Marriage/couple/counseling identify and resolves discord; with the objective of improving their relationship. “Much Christian counseling is now done as a variant of cognitive-behavioral therapy. (Clinton, Hart, & Leaseholder, 2005, p. 204) Family/marriage therapy has been a needed facet of counseling for many years. As the years have passed there have been many theories associated with family/marriage counseling. “Much of the practice of couples and family therapy rests on the foundation of systems theory which views psychological problems. (Corey, Schneider- Corey, & Callahan, 2011) By identifying the difference in individual and family/marriage counseling there can be a more comprehensive, didactic therapeutic process. By building healthy marriages, and families we build a deter community. “By counseling couples, families, or individuals, marriage and family therapists can tackle a host of problems: adult schizophrenia, substance abuse, anorexia, and marital conflict. Today, marriage and family therapy are considered a “core” mental-health profession, alongside social work, psychiatric nursing, psychology, and psychiatry. There are five aspects this research paper will explore in conjunction to marriage, couple and family counseling. They include boundaries, communication, anger and forgiveness, resolving conflict, and spirituality. Boundaries- understanding the definition f boundaries and how they affect relationships is a crucial part of applying this information to improve connections within the marriage and family. A boundary is defined as a line that divides one area from another. When boundaries are understood and respected this often leads into problems within the relationship, whether it is a marriage or family.
By defining a boundary the Christian counselor can explore it’s meaning with the clients. “Boundaries help us to determine who is responsible for what. If we understand who owns what we know who must take responsibility for it. ” (Cloud ; Townsend, 1999 p. 0) In this way a Christian counselor can guide the clients in building a strong foundation within the marriage and family structure. Since boundaries are often misunderstood and viewed as oppressive, they should be explored as to how it can enhance the relationship. “God designed the entire creation for freedom.
We were not meant to be enslaved by each other; we were meant to love each other freely. ” (Cloud ; Townsend, p. 23) Learning this very important aspect will aid in creating the foundation that is necessary for healthy relation ships and also aid in conflict resolution. Communication- Communication is a skill that everyone needs to possess especially in a marriage where the two have become one. Without communication it inevitably leads to discord within the family structure, and possibly divorce. Communication is a crucial characteristic, not only for marriage but family as well.
Communication can be conveyed in several different manners. Physical expressions of communication are twofold. One is a pleasurable experience such as hugging, kissing, hand shake, a pat on the back. These physical expressions can communicate, love; affection; acceptance; approval; concern and friendship. Verbal expressions of communication can often be confused between the sexes, and parents/children. “Physical contact is a powerful means of communicating and a gentle and supportive way to nourish the spirit and convey positive emotions. ” (Parrot ; Parrot, 2006, p. 4) When communication breaks down in a marriage and family it is imperative that It is repaired otherwise disastrous events could follow. “Patterns of communication will not be changed overnight perhaps not by the end of counseling or even by the end of the first year after counseling. ” (Worthington, 1 999, p. 49) Particularly in marriages do Christian counselors often help communication. Many problems escalate from lack of communication skills. “When marriages begin to have trouble partners stop listening to each other. They tune the spouse out listen only for points to rebut or avoid communication. (Worthington, Jar. , p. 1 59) This is an excellent starting point for a Christian counselor to address. Through addressing issues of communication this can possibly unearth other areas such as triggers of the spouse which can be effectively dealt with. “One way to prevent arguments and disagreements is to learn to recognize into more positive and divert a possible argument into more positive directions. ” (Worthington, Jar. , p. 166) Communication is a key for a solid healthy relationship, and also a key starting point for a Christian counselor to explore with the clients.
Anger- Anger is such a strong emotion. When we cannot control it, it can blind our judgment, rob us our peace, and separate us from God, our spouse and family. When anger goes unchecked it turns into bitterness and can harden our hearts, but if a Christian counselor can help the client harness this anger t can be productive. “Anger is a God given emotion intended to protect and provide energy for developing situations to life’s inevitable problems. ” (Clinton, Hart, & Leaseholder, 2005, p. 207).
By using anger in a positive manner it can be a problem solver, it can empower, it carries value. Anger can carry such negative connotations sometimes the value of it goes unnoticed and thus unaddressed. “With the taboos on anger in many evangelical circles Christians can be particularly blind to the value of this powerful emotion. ” (Clinton, Hart, & Leaseholder, p. 206). It is the duty of a Christian nonsense to be well informed in various areas in order to assist the client into finding their way, exploring their anger is simply another way of empowering the client.
A Christian counselor can address issues of control and possibly other underlying feelings that may accompany the anger. Paul instructed in the Bible, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. ” Ephesians 4:26 (“Holy Bible,” 1973). Understanding how anger can affect and invoke underlying feelings Of guilt or shame can further the counseling process. ” One common constellation of feelings involves anger hat makes hurt or sadness promoted by an event which then triggers feelings of guilt, shame or fear. ” (Clinton & Leaseholder, 2002, p. 12). God has created our emotions, and He can use them to heal all wounds. Forgiveness- Forgiveness is indeed a skill that can prove to be very difficult to obtain. According to the Incarnate Dictionary forgiveness is the act of pardoning somebody for a mistake or wrongdoing. Christian counselors need to help facilitate forgiveness within the family and marriage. Forgiveness needs to be explained as something that frees you as well as being obedient to God’s Word. “Forgiveness is crucial in the process of relation ship healing and restoration.
Unforeseen is also known to be a significant cause of anxiety and feelings of being threatened and prolongs trauma symptoms, social isolation, and the pain in interpersonal relationships. ” (Clinton ; Leaseholder, 2002, p. 239). Forgiveness doesn’t accept the wrongdoing, but acknowledges it and works pass the problem. Even though the offender may not have asked for forgiveness, we need to help our clients impart forgiveness because it is also for them. Forgiveness gives our clients back heir power in a sense; because when we harbor hatred it takes over our lives it enslaves us.
When forgiveness enters the picture it takes away that bondage. “If we keep saying I don’t have any sin or if we fail to acknowledge our shortcomings and settle our differences with people and God, then the big one is coming. We can choose to humble ourselves; but if we don’t God will. ” (Anderson, 2000, p. 168). God teaches us that we need to forgive others otherwise our sins will not be forgiven. “Holding on to unforeseen is bad for people physically, mentally and spiritually. We realize that we shouldn’t old on to unforeseen but struggle with turning it loose. (Worthington, 1999, p. 135). Resolving Conflict- In order to resolve conflict all involved parties must agree to discuss the problem in a constructive manner. Resolving conflict involves a skill that not everyone possesses. It is the responsibility of the Christian counselor to assist the couple or family to acquire these skills in order to resolve issues in a beneficial method. “Parents must listen and observe what is happening in their teenagers’ lives. This will build a bridge of trust and communication for just about anything. (Pipes amp; Lee, 2008, p. 48). Families that learn this are better equip to process problems and thus able to transition this skill into other areas of their lives. When focusing on couples Christian counselors can train the couple on resolving differences in love. Everett Worthington teaches the use of LOVE Acrostic. “L, O and E stand for skills; L for listening and repeating, O for observing your effects and E for evaluating both partners’ interests V stands for the principle value your partner. (1999, p. 178). God loves and created the family and He created marriage, and wants peace within the family Truckee and marriage. “Many people marry to avoid or escape unpleasantness. But no matter (Parrot & Parrot, 2006, p. 28) how glorious the institution of marriage it is not a substitute for the difficult work of inner spiritual healing. ” Spirituality- As Christian counselors assessing the spirituality of the clients is vital to building support systems within the relationships.
Also discussing spiritual intimacy is very important component in understanding how to guide couples in understanding each other and their relationship with God. “Spiritual intimacy is feeling that partners experience a ensue of unity in things spiritual such as worship, prayer, private devotions, how much they talk about spiritual issues, ways they react emotionally to spiritual things, ways they use their faith to cope with adversity, ways they use religious beliefs and values in daily life and the amount of emphasis they place on religion in their family and in their private life. (Worthington, 1 999, p. 232). Having an awareness of the spirituality of your family and spouse can also greatly increase communication, and the relationship with our Heavenly Father. Including your spouse and family in daily devotions, worship and rarer can be a cornerstone to building a better relationship and this can be explored through counseling. “Every successful marriage is the result of two people working diligently and skillfully to cultivate their love. ” (Parrot & Parrot, 2006, p. 0) Conclusion In conclusion we have seen how the five aspects of this research paper not only interact with one another but counseling as well. As a Christian counselor it is imperative to know about boundaries, communication, anger and forgiveness, resolving conflict, and spirituality and how to address it these issues in sessions with the clients. Understanding the different dynamics of each aspect explore here will improve the skills of the Christian counselor and thus this will be able to be able to be implemented within the relationships of the families and couples.
Being able to interweave God and His Word in the counseling process is an essential, integral element in building, restoring, and healing within the family and the marriage relationships. As God had created families and marriage He wants them to succeed, and He has enable us as Christian counselors to assist His people in this endeavor. References Anderson, N. 2005). We need to forgive others so Satan cannot take advantage of us. The bondage breaker, 221. Anderson, N. (2005). If we keep saying don’t have any sin, or if we fail to acknowledge our shortcomings.