Sir Fortinbras and noble knights of the army of Norway, I stand before you today to tell a tale of a martyred hero to whom we must remember. Hamlet be thy name. He was a friend and a leader. About eight months ago Hamlet was distraught, I’d never seen him like this before. He had a good excuse, I mean his father had just died, his mom, god rest her soul, remarried not even a month afterwards. Hamlet’s affair with Ophilia was dwindling in his giant fire of emotions. Ophilia was the kings’ servant’s daughter. The king’s servant was Polonious. Polonious did not want Ophilia with Hamlet, nor did Ophilia’s brother Laertes. Hamlet was under a lot of pressure, but it wasn’t until a few of the guards and myself saw a ghost whom we believed was Hamlet’s deceased father. This was the point of all of our lives were you either take one path or the other each leading you in a total different direction. Hamlet went to the guard tower with us the next night and reasoned to our favor that the ghost did in fact perpetuate the look of King Hamlet. The ghost made a follow me motion to Hamlet and we grabbed him. Please do not follow Sir Hamlet, I pleaded. The spirit was insistent and Hamlets gut instinct drove him to follow the floating omen. I know not the exact words that the ghost spoke that night but from what I understand, he was back from the dead to inform his son that he had not died from the rumorous snake bite which had been presumed. King Hamlet’s brother, the current King Claudius, had murdered him while he lay in the garden by pouring poison in his ear. The ghost also informed Hamlet of an affair that his mother had been having with Claudius. This bit of information stunned and enraged if you will Hamlet. Hamlet knew not what to believe. After all the ghost could have just as easily been the devil himself for all we knew.
After that night Hamlet had many problems keeping sain or so it looked to me. He hurt Ophilia just because the king and Polonious set Hamlet up using the willing, beautiful daughter as bait. I found out later that the cunning little rascal was just acting to show incompetence to the revenge plot taking place in his head. The most creative plot of his plan would have to be when the players came to Elsinore. Hamlet just out of the blue I guess thought of a plan that was a sure fire way to prove beyond any doubt if that what the ghost said was indeed fact or merely fiction. He staged a renewed version of the play that the king would watch that night. In this version, Hamlet’s version, the murder of his father was reenacted. It worked to. The king was totally blindsided. By the kings behavior I was even convinced. The best part of it all was that the king was the only one who got it. This was apparently all Hamlet needed for his revenge to take effect.
Hamlet then went and told his mom about the ghost and what he knew. I know not how nor why but under some circumstance unknown to all but possibly Hamlet and his mother Polonious died at the end of Hamlet’s sword in Hamlet’s mothers very bedroom. Gertrude put on a wonderful act in the days to follow. She showed no knowledge what so ever of the murder she now was very much aware of.
Meanwhile Ophilia, now fatherless, completely lost all touch of realty. She drowned within the next few days. I think it was suicide.
Hamlet was sent by the king to England. I found out later that the king had planned for him to be killed there. But Hamlet squeezed out of yet another death trap. He showed up back at Elsinore, where I met him, only to walk in on the funeral of Ophilia. I remember thinking, can anything else bad happen to poor Hamlet. Boy was that an understatement. Ophilia’s brother was dishonored by Hamlets presence. They decided to have a friendly little sword fight to settle their differences. I knew of Laertes reputation with the fiddle stick and he was no puny pile of manure in that category. I thought Hamlet would have no chance against Laertes. Boy was I wrong, as usual, Hamlet had been practicing and showed cunning speed, skill and grace with his rapier. I was proud to be his friend. Then he died. I mean one minute he is standing there all cool and stout looking and the next he is lying there lifeless. He took out the king and Laertes before he and his mom bought it. The king killed his mom for those of you who do not know. Anyhow, I loved that guy, he’ll be missed. If a man,s wealth was measured by how much he was loved then Hamlet was a very wealthy man.
Ah anyway, Sir Fortinbras I beg your forgiveness for this long boring story. I hope since all the people I know are dead and deceased that maybe you and I could be friends. Well you think about it. I have to go help the gravedigger and clean up your new castle. Bye bye now.