Today alone, I asked Johnny five times to put his new iPhone 7 plus away, before he didfor a whole minute.This was followed by Alice’s phone buzzing incessantly with messages throughout the lesson; yes, it was in her pencil case but that didn’t make it any less distracting for the whole class. And, you wouldn’t believe my seniorEnglishclass has a draft due in just a few days when Josie and Lily are squawking about some post reaching 100 likes on Facebook.
The amount of times I have had to remind students to put their phones or devices away is ridiculous -definitely equalto or more than we have actually spent revising the structure for their essay. Surely, they must stop and think, sometimes, that school work is important. Students nowadays, some 89%according tothe Sensis report 2016, are always using technology, any type, anytime, anywhere.
But then again, I’m sure you can relate. You are all parents, after all, of these new age, technology obsessed students, who almost literally have their phones glued to them for the entirety of the day. Some of you, might even have more than one tech-obsessed teen at home. So, today, we are gathered because I feel I have found a solution to help you, and to help your student achieve better in this technologically addicted world
I propose, quite simply, that we insert a technology repellent brain chip into their heads. Don’t worry though! It is not permanent; it will only remain there for the duration of their school life Why, you ask? Well, just closeyoureyes a minute and imagine! Imagine the possibilities of no technology to distract them, you can have a peace in mind that your children will not be accessing any inappropriate sites and they can finally reach their potential in academia achievement.
The statistics alone support my proposal. Technology is a way of life for teenagers with 95% of ages between 12-17 spending time online. These years are a prime period of schooling for students, well I wouldn’t call Charlie a student let alone a human being, whoever is the mother and father of Charlie Coplestone, ifyouare reading this, please lock that thing up before it is released into the wild. Anyway, back to statistics,according tothe 2010, Pew Research Study, the reality was that teachers are not the centre of attention like they should be anymore; stating that, “64 percent of teens with mobile phones said they would have texted in class at least 2-4 times a day”. A recent report by a correspondent at Technician, Abhishek Karadkar stated that getting too involved in technology can lead to an addiction that inculcates bad habits. Students prefer to chat or game with friends for hours and this leads to a waste of time that could have been used for studying, playing or learning new skills’. Why we must act now, you ask, would you rather the prospect of your child obtaining poor academic results, due to the adverse effects and distractions of technology, or would you rather your child achieve academia success, allowing the freedom of your child to select what profession they would like to take on, but with the slim chance of your child to develop a brain disorder. Oops forgot to mention that. Latest results show that there is a minimal chance of damage, 4 out of 5, to be exact. The risk is that there is a slight possibility that your child will incur a brain disorder from this experience. But hey, better odds of success to permanent brain damage.
Once the chip is implanted into thestudentsbrains, this package will also come with a small device that will give both you and teachers the courtesy of monitoring the students and their academia progress, in the click of button. On this device, there will be a group page for all users in the class and teachers to communicate and pose any concerns. This device willhelp observe the progress of the students and therefore teachers can help target their weak spots, in terms of subjects or specific units within a subjectand address these inadequacies. This chip will pre-structurestudentsday to day activities, and will allow for 1-2 hours of technology per day, as well as a short stint of physical activity lasting an hour long – these hours would apply for everyone. Otherwise, students will be repelled to use technology throughout the day, focusing on studying and learning the national curriculum.
You might be thinking to yourself, by signing up to this proposal, that we are just turning your child into a robot. This of course is true, in terms of schooling but this ploy will only last temporarily until they graduate. I know it sounds crazy and out of this world but I can guarantee you that your child will have successful results, maybe. Yeah about that, there is no actual guarantee that your child willactually improve, but hey give it go and see what happens, that’s what the principle said to me on my first day teaching, its worked ever since.
God if I had the chance to be mentally and physically repelled from technology during my prime schooling years, I would be the first one to sign up. This technology obsessed world ruinsstudentsfutures and consequently ruined mine, look at me now, while your dropping off your kids in a 4X4 BMW, I’m teaching 4th graders how to spell, on a minimum wage with as little as 12 weeks holiday a year.
Nevertheless, parents of Australia this is a serious issue and it is the time to act now. Students have been enslaved under the curse of technology for quite some time now and it is consequently affecting their education and future. Imagine the scenes, the scenes of your child for once not using their phone at the dinner table. Imagine, a life without your child keeping you up all night from the shouting and screeching Revive me, Revive me’. This proposal benefits both you and I.It’sa win, win.So,ladies and gentlemenlet’smake this proposal a reality,let’sstop this technology addicted world and give students a real go at school without the adverse effects and distractions of technology. Let’s make education great again.Gottago, just found the perfect match on tinder. Swipeeverything,I just said.